You’re probably thinking this: girls have sex and tend to get clingy, while males can stick their thing in anything and walk away fine, but it’s actually a little more complicated.
No matter how tough and detached a women can be, biologically the most likely outcome for her after sex is emotional attachment, while for men it often has nothing to do with the act of sex.
Ladies picture this: A casual netflix date has now turned into an intense make-out session that you’re positive won’t be ending at second base. In fact, the way he’s kissing the side of your neck right now is almost guaranteeing a home run. He’s not your man and you’re not his lady, cause y’all have only been talking for a couple weeks. But he’s cute and you enjoy each other’s company. Ya know, you’re “just chilling.” No real expectations, cause you’re not trying to be in a relationship. But you’re definitely not turning down this complimentary pleasure, seeing that you’ve been horny for the past week and are not about that masturbation life.
ONE WEEK LATER:
Sex naturally evokes an emotional response. Oxytocin, commonly known as “the love, cuddle, or attachment hormone” is released during sex (in addition to childbirth for women). The hormone not only provides sexual relief as it diminishes stress, but increases your level of trust for that person. A “connection” is made, as the feeling of “love and closeness” increases in your brain (even if you don’t really feel that way!) Estrogen has a way of enlarging this hormone’s effects, while testosterone tends to shut it down, explaining the difference between men and women’s common emotions afterwards.
In short, women are clingy and find it extremely difficult to maintain emotional neutrality anytime dick is involved. On the contrary, males operate in a completely different way. From the get go, he decides if you’re within one of two categories: someone he is attracted to strictly for sex or someone he desires to build something deeper with.
CATEGORY ONE:
- The man is attracted to you, but doesn’t see you as the type of girl he’s willing to settle down for. He could genuinely enjoy your company and especially enjoy the sex, but the chance of him cuffing you is pretty unlikely. It has nothing to do with attraction, but instead some aspect about you, that’s not appealing enough for him to commit too. In the game of kill, fuck, or marry: you’re definitely the fuck. This allows for him to keep it casual and easily stay emotionless, because he cares… but he doesn’t really care.
CATEGORY TWO:
- This is the ideal category for most women. Those who are getting a ring in the game of kill, fuck, or marry. He likes you and not just for your breasts, but for how you talk, and laugh, how your hair smells, or your face shrivels when you’re mad. This is the category where he likes you to a point to desire something deeper. And if he’s here with you, he’s actually hesitant to have sex with you off the bat, because of the effects it can have on a relationship.
Males have the power to decide when they want to open up their heart, whereas females often open up uncontrollably. It’s not that guys don’t want love, but they often find themselves dealing with someone in category one, where the establishment of emotions are not required.
So when do guys catch feelings? How does he end up in the lovey-dovey stage?? HOW DO I GET HIM TO LOVE THE WAY MY HAIR SMELLS OR LAUGH AT MY CRAZINESS RATHER THAN CUT ME OFF?
The answer is currently unknown, but it is definitively not sex. You can suck the soul out of a man and still be left in category one.
Multiple sources explained that the emotional connection is almost always established outside of sexual intercourse. It can vary from a million different things, from support through a personal crisis to consistent conversation.
“This might be cliché, but you want to like the person for who they really are. The sex is just a bonus.” “Loving someone is not even about sex.” “Sex isn’t the important thing when it come to your lady. You like them for them… not just their body.”
Most males see sex as just sex, unless strong feelings have already been developed. In which case, sex turns into a more intimate act of affection.
It is important for women to understand the difference in the categories, in order to identify where you are in relation to your sexual partner. The previous paragraph that probably had you awing in admiration is definitely a category two. If your romantic scene sounds more like he only calls at three am, but offers a pillow to put my knees on…Babygirl, you’re not getting cuffed.
Having sex is not going to make him fall in love with you and if he really cares, sex is not that important. Know your role, because more than likely… you’re gonna catch feelings regardless.
Sources:
http://www.hercampus.com/love/sex/getting-attached-after-sex-myth-or-fact
http://www.gurl.com/2014/02/15/do-girls-really-get-attached-to-guys-after-having-sex/
BETWEEN THE SHEETS 
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