If there’s one thing we as females are quick to do, it’s say that niggas ain’t shit. And sometimes they’re not.
But you know who else ain’t shit: our own selves.
Often times we as females don’t take responsibility for our own actions. You know he’s not going to cuff you. He’s not going to change. He’s messing with other females. Ya mans calling you over at 1AM, but still hasn’t taken you on a date. He thinks blowjobs are essential, but doesn’t know what a clitoris is. He said, “don’t put me on the snap” and told you to delete that #MCM post. He thinks ya stretch marks is ugly and sent your nudes to the group chat. He’s “not looking for a relationship,” but doesn’t want you talking to anyone else. He don’t even wait for you to get inside before he pulls off in the whip.
And we still stay as if he’s lifes greatest gift.
Women are so infactuated with being in a relationship, that they will accept bullshit in exchange, settling out of desperation. HERE’S A NEW LIFE CHANGING CONCEPT: CUT PEOPLE OFF.
Let go of that one sided relationship that you’re desperately holding on to. If they are not putting in the same effort as you, leave ‘em alone. Stop doing wifey shit for a nigga that don’t even ask if you’ve made it home from work.
This might be one of the hardest things to actually go through with, because you like him. You want him to be yours. You see the good in him. You know he can change. Y’all would be so cute together. You gotta accept that some people just dont want you and that they out they damn mind cause you a great catch.
It’s okay to drop people out of your life that do you no good. You’re not a bad person for choosing yourself first. Learn to take the L in order to prevent an even larger dub. The worst thing about heartbreaks is looking back and realizing you ignored all the red flags that could have prevented the situation you found yourself in. So learn to say no and enjoy your own company. If dating someone is really that critical, date yaself. Take yourself shopping. Have your own movie nights. Wine and dine yourself. You don’t need a man for that. But don’t be that person whose made the mistake of emotionally investing in someone who isn’t doing the same.
Stop tryna force people to love you, and like you, and be in your life. You just gon end up emotionally exhausted. What’s attractive about a man who isn’t excited as hell to be with you? Who doesn’t smile when you walk up? Who doesn’t hold your hand? Who isn’t all in? What’s attractive about a man who is too prideful to just let go and love? What’s attractive about an emotionally unavailable man?
Be mature about your life. Happiness comes from your own actions. So stop wasting your own time. Be realistic. Don’t put yourself in situations that you know are going to backfire. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. If he doesn’t fit what you want or doesn’t take your relationship seriously, let it go. Don’t play victim to circumstances you created. It only keeps happening, because you keep allowing it too.
“Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life. Water what works, what’s good, what’s right. Stop playing around with those dead bones and stuff you can’t fix. It’s over… leave it alone! If you water what’s alive and divine, you see harvest like you’ve never seen before. Stop wasting water on dead issues, dead relationships, dead people, a dead past. No matter how much you water concrete, you can’t grow a garden.” — TD Jakes
Being single can consist of many difficult, horny, marvin’s room, love jones filled nights. But do not allow your loneliness to lower your standards. You aren’t hard to love just because you want to be treated right and expect a level of decency in a relationship. Stop doing self damage and stressing out over people who barely deserve your time. Just chill. What’s meant to be yours will eventually be yours. And if they really want you, they’ll ask.