“Even if we both know that we’re about to have sex… I don’t want to feel like I’m a piece of ass. I want to feel cherished, and admired, and respected.”

There is nothing worse than having a guy over who immediately tries to smash. Not only is it unattractive, but it introduces the idea that he’s only there for one reason. Some of the best sex has absolutely nothing to do with the dick itself. It involves the female feeling catered to, due to the impressive level of attention provided by her mate, something most penis-carryers learn over time:

“Turning a girl on is essential ‘cause you have to get her comfortable so she can do her thing with no pressure. I used to rush all the time & most girls didn’t like that. But then I learned to go slow, becoming more focused on pleasing them rather than worrying about my nut.”

“If you’re just trying to fuck, there’s no need to be turning her on. But if you’re into her, you want her to be like ‘damnnn dick game crazy.’ That’s when it becomes really important. It just depends on the guys level of respect or true intentions.”

Believe it or not, though the idea of fast-forwarding straight to sex seems appealing to the man, foreplay can have a part in intensifying his experience just as much. If anything, “sexual foreplay means more sex and that’s something any guy can get into.”

Sex is not strictly a physical act. If you think intercourse (of any kind) will be painful, then it will be, simply due to the fact that your body is naturally tensing up in preparation for the pain. You have to change the expectation, psychologically. When it comes to sex, the more aroused someone is, the more comfortable they are, the less pressure they feel, equating to higher pain tolerance and there you have it, better sex. So what’s the best tactic to calm nerves and put your partner in the right mood for an intense and explosive main course: foreplay.

Rarely is foreplay about pushing yourself onto someone or in a certain situation. It’s about being calm and subtle. Slow, but with a purpose. It’s the building of anticipation between a man and a woman, which only amplifies the excitement for sex itself. To help you all out, we’re going to separate foreplay into two categories:


This foreplay is all psychological. It’s about getting them ready without outright saying, “we bout to do this right now.” The trick lies within your gestures, facial expressions, and body language. It’s innocent, but all completely intentional.


  • Run your fingers through your hair or graciously flip it over to one side to reveal your neck.
  • Slowly lick or bite your lower lips. There’s no need to do this multiple times, but slipping it into conversation can cause attention right where you want it.
  • Make sure your voice is relaxed, smooth and has a certain sweetness to it (the FaceTime/on the phone caking with ya boo voice)
  • Find an excuse to come a bit closer, even if that means taking off that tiny piece of lint from his shirt.
  • Reveal yourself slowly by taking off layers of your clothes during conversation. Do something, not noticing the buttons on your shirt coming undone, disclosing your lace on your bra. Wear a t-shirt with no bra or a skirt with no panties. Change outfits when he comes, just so you can expose yourself momentarily.

“F — me” eyes: Gaze at ya man softly, sexually, and eagerly. You gotta talk with your eyes. It’s time to take what Tyra taught you on ANTM to the next level. Maintain intimate eye contact for as long as possible, then give him a flirtatious smile.


  • Gaze at her. Girls hate being gazed at. She’s gonna start blushing and get real nervous.
  • Touch her occasionally on the hand, arm, or thigh during conversation.
  • Tuck her hair behind her ear. You’re probably wondering why this is listed, but I’m providing you with crucial information.
  • Subliminally sneak peak your best assets, whether that means lifting up your shirt during conversation or not wearing one at all.
  • Grey sweatpants (need we say more)



For those who like to take initiative and be bold, dive in and take control, this section is for you. This type of foreplay is what gets them mad if you do too much for too long.

Ladies & Gentleman:

  • Take a shower together.
  • Give a body massage (with oil, if you’re trying to level up).
  • Let them find you completely naked or wrapped in a towel, or in lace or silk for the ladies.
  • Provide a lap dance.
  • Elongate everything until the other person can’t take it anymore and next thing you know, they’re doing all the work themselves.
  • Whisper some unforgettable shit in their ear.
  • Other sexual practices: fingering, hand jobs, oral sex, 69

Now don’t do any of this if you have no intentions of moving forward, because these are pure sex set-ups and to have someone go through all of this without finishing the job is obnoxiously rude.

A crucial technique that has yet to be mentioned is kissing.

The best part about this act, is that it only requires your lips, leaving the rest of your body available for use. SO TO EVERYONE, LEARN TO MULTI-TASK! 


You take those hands and put them around his neck pulling him closer. Slowly slide your hand into his hair, raking through it. Then lightly run your fingers along his neck or bring your hand to cup his face. Slowly slide your hands down his chest. Devour his neck. Softly kiss his jawline. Make your way to his shoulder, while you run your hands towards his dick. Take your time moving your mouth down his body: collar bones, chest, hell kiss between his legs on his inner thigh… all of these are sensitive spots. When you’re ready, slowly and gently scoop your man’s penis out and smile. By this time… ya man’s is ready. He been ready lol. He trying to hold out.

And for men: Kissing can do the same, if not more for her because if it’s done right, you’ll be slipping and sliding for the rest of the night. 👍🏾 Pretend like you’re in the seventh grade again and take the time to enjoy her body. Pick her up and place her where you want, while slowly running your hand up her thighs. Grab her booty and don’t just suck her breasts, but take the time to caress and express your appreciation for them.

fMRI research reveals that stimulation of the nipple activates the same region of the brain (the genital sensory cortex) activated when stimulation occurs involving the clitoris, vagina, and cervix. In short, touching your girls breasts can do powerful things, and can even lead to orgasm. So suck them, again.

Move your mouth to a variety of places while simultaneously undressing her, but most importantly: Kiss the side of her neck and the arch of her back.

This whole kissing my body/making me beg for it thing is cliché, but that’s because it’s fucking hot and it fucking works and most guys are lazy as fuck and don’t do it. Be the guy who does it, and I’ll be like, ‘damn this guy is a passionate lover.’ He’s the real deal. I’ll be a little intimidated which will make me feel vulnerable which is the same thing as peeling off my panties spiritually/emotionally.

juelzsantanabandana: barely brush your lip against your girls neck and she be like

According to the Journal of Sexual Research, the ideal amount of foreplay is twenty minutes, but the average amount of time spent by sexual partners is within ten minutes.

Foreplay is the first step of preparation for true intercourse, so whatever you do make it sexy. Hype your partner up and communicate your approval, whether it’s a “damn girl” or a “fuckkkkkk.” Maintain that focus in your eye, like you’re aiming to please and God just presented the most beautiful person in front of you. Lastly, don’t rush anything. Take the time to kiss the left side of their neck, then the right side of their neck, maybe even under their chin until you know their ready.

And guys, even if you are just trying to nut, pretend you care about the shared experienced rather than just ya dick.


Sexual Foreplay: What’s in It for Men?
Sexual foreplay means more sex. And that’s something any guy can get into From the WebMD Archives Dates that end with…www.webmd.com

Komisaruk, B. R., Wise, N., Frangos, E., Liu, W. C., Allen, K., & Brody, S. (2011). Women’s clitoris, vagina, and cervix mapped on the sensory cortex: fMRI evidence. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 8, 2822–2830.

One thought on “Lick It Before You Stick It.

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