These next paragraphs are advised for those who are sexually confident, have already participated in intercourse with their partner, and plan on continuing to have sex with them. #DontBeATease

The building of sexual tension can be innocent or rather explicit. She can hit him with nudes or send that risky text, he can whisper in her ear or not text back. These are all strategies for making things even better, when the time finally comes. First things first, whatever you do…do not force it. If it’s not working, retreat immediately. You do not want to be screenshot and laughed at in the group message later.

how to get her wet from a distance

communication & body language:

In public, whisper something raunchy in her ear. Hold eye contact with her from across the room. Find a way to softly touch her skin. LICK THEM DAMN LIPS.

“My nigga lick his lips and I’m the f***ing pacific. Jesus, I fall out and can’t pick myself back up.”

Anything random and cute. Give her a nickname. Point out something embarrassing about her like her clumsiness. Mock or mimic her. Challenge her to something as simple as 8 Ball. Tell her how it’s not gonna work cause she’s too nice and you’d corrupt her or how you gotta watch your back cause she from NY and you heard how those girls are.

Ya’ll niggas underestimate hugs…. like you don’t know how much girls like a good full blown hug, both hands wrapped around her while her head lays on your chest and then ya pull away and you smile at her and continue with your day… girls be in class 20 minutes later thinking about that hug fam.

Lastly, accuse her of being sexually aggressive. This will have her not only embarrassed, but wanting to fuck you even more. “Are you trying to seduce me?” “We just met…?” “I’m not a piece of meat ya know..” “Someone’s mind is in the gutter” “You’re such a sex machine!” As soon as she denies it, hit her with a smooth, “I mean I don’t mind.” 😎

pull and push:

“Whether or not he was truly f***ing with me or not is debatable, because one minute he’d be giving me straight ‘I’m bout it’ signals, next thing you know I don’t get a text back. Which only made me want to figure out what the hell was going on.”

Now I’m not saying play games. I’m an advocate for honesty. If you want her, let her know BUT creating obstacles to escalation is a simple way to build sexual tension. Wait a week for the next date. Respond a little late. Reschedule your meet up. Males have the tendency to move fast, when really the steady anticipation is what drives girls insane. Not rushing allows for the thought of you to linger in her brain way more than normal. (I hate that I’m even saying this. It really works, but please don’t do this. We literally hate this. Like no. Text back.)

*gets ignored by crush* Fuck It. Fuck it. From now on I’m living for ME. I am going to stay hydrated, moisturized, take care of myself and my body, work on loving myself first. I am going to focus on me and stop spending energy on others and getting caught up in gratuitous ideas of romance *crush texts back* They are The One.

**Please note that girls are crazy and overdoing this can result in you (a) getting dubbed for playing games (b) her playing games back (c) her blowing up your line or  (d) her trying to get the scoop from your friends.

set the scene:

This is something most have forgotten about nowadays. Establishing a mood, will in fact put her in that mood. If she walks in and sees Netflix, her automatic assumption is that you are just trying to fuck. So even if you are, provide her with an environment that will intensify the anticipation. Just how you appreciate lace and an enhancing scent, we appreciate a clean room where you drawls are not on the floor and the 2k screen isn’t up.

“The perfect set up is anything tailored specifically to me. I’m pretty basic so it’s not hard, but just showing that I was on your mind heavy makes a difference.”

“I think anything romantic is something that is catered to my likes, interests, and desires. Don’t do some generic shit that you saw on twitter as relationship goals. Buy me a slice of cake from Publix and write a goofy poem or sum shit and I’ll think u gave me the whole entire world with three dollars.”

It doesn’t have to be candles and roses, with Usher playing in the background. The trick is to apply things that you know she enjoys within the environment. Specific to her shows that this experience is unique and not generic to any other female. If her favorite artist is Party or y’all talked about that one movie, have it playing when she walks in the door and that movie pulled up already on the screen. I can guarantee she won’t want to watch more than five minutes.

sex isn’t really necessary:

“If your girl sees you before she goes out with her friends and she look good af with a tight ass dress this is what I want you to do: Pin her sexy ass up against a wall .. Spread her legs apart and play with her pussy and talk dirty to her .. Tell her how good she looks and tell her how bad you wanna fuck her and let her go out after that .. I bet she’ll leave the club early.”


You presenting them with that option and then taking it away will most definitely be a problem. Pull a “I was thinking we could skip sex today.” She will come over and damn near peer pressure you to get what she wants.

how to have him hard in the event he’s not already soon as you show up

“I’ve been pretty reckless lately, but we both know you’re not gonna do shit about it.”

Come with the attitude. Put him in a position where he has no choice but to show you whose boss. Mess with that ego a lil bit. DO NOT BRING UP OTHER NIGGAS THOUGH. His dick might be smaller than all three of your ex mans, but that is straight foul. Don’t hurt him, just get him to take charge. Also note that with you talking shit, he’s probably not gonna be so gentle when your face down, so know what you’re getting yourself into when you do this.

“I teased this guy really bad once. Like really bad and the next time he came over, of course I’m talking shit, trying to make it seem like what was about to happen wasn’t about to happen, cause I’m trying to play the good girl role. This man had me screaming and calling him daddy within minutes.”

“Why you looking at me like that? You’re distracting me!” 

Oh the innocent one. Is it a coincidence that you’re sore and need a massage. That he comes to the door and you’re half undressed. That you’re wearing all lace and there’s not one hair follicle present on your coochie, despite having “zero” intentions to do anything. Do you always carry condoms or did you throw that magnum in ya purse just incase.

“There’s something about the combination of nudity, unabashed comfort and nonchalant sexual expressness that is a huge turn on for men… I think it’s because you’re seeing everything but you don’t have to “play up” your response to her… the man can lustfully soak her in without needing to act socially acceptable, like he’s not a pervert.”

Depart from the standard womanly behavior of being pressed and just do you! Walk around with no bra. Wear that skirt with no panties. Sincerely apologize for kissing his sweet spot, when you know his uber’s on the way. “I’m sorry, go ahead. You’re about to leave and I’m gonna make you late. I’m wilding.”

“Honestly, you’re the only guy that’s made me cum.”

Every man wants to be THE MAN, so gas him. Make him feel like he is that nigga. Get him excited to provide what you want because he is the only person that can do it.“I’m not horny all the time, it’s just that you’re so f***ing sexy.” Here you are allowed to bring up past niggas: “Ya know what I realized earlier today…my ex stroke game was actually super weak. Like what I thought was good sex…was nothing in comparison.”

“If these people weren’t here…” 

There’s nothing like a good teaser (who can come through on their actions). Tell him you’re not wearing any underwear or that you just so happened to put on his favorite pair. Provide that special whine in the corner then smirk and dub him when he tries to pull you closer. When no one is looking, whisper in his ear or reach under the table and rub his penis. Give him the look and lick your lips, but don’t say anything out the ordinary, just respond normal in conversation or slide in something real dirty, then laugh and play it off like a joke.

  • him: how was your break?
  • her: ehhh, all I did was work really.
  • him: and how was that?
  • her: let’s just say i’d rather be sucking your dick. *laughs*
  • #heisnotgoingtoforgetthatyousaidthat

you’re probably thinking… how is she forgetting the one obvious way to get things popping: 


Sexting behaviors are experiencing rampant growth among college students.  According to a study conducted by the University of Rhode Island, 4 out of 5 college kids have received sexually suggestive messages.  Out of the 204 participants, approximately 56 percent reported that they have received sexual images.

Sexting is all psychological. You’re triggering sexual thoughts and feelings within one’s mind, which they then continues to ruminate on. People seduce themselves. All you have to do is trigger it and occasionally re-trigger. Embrace ya nasty side. Incorporate inside jokes or personal memories between the two of you. Be genuine, if you’re not calling him daddy in bed, there’s no need to call him papi in those messages.


“Craziest thing I ever sent a guy was a detailed string of texts that told him exactly how I was going to suck the soul out of him 😇”

 wyd? WACK          what that mouf do? WACK           you up? WACK

you look sexy asf in that dress earlier today…



Anything that involves the words/phrases deep, in your stomach, clit, have you screaming, or blow your back out are pretty much guarantee panty wetters, because at this point she is reminiscing on past experiences. She’s thinking about when you actually did this and how much she enjoyed it. Do not text her about how you want her to suck your dick. Keep it within the gates of penetration and eating her out (if you do that).


the classic tap out battle:

How many rounds can one go? Who can last longer? Whose gonna cum first? This is a simple way to push your agenda without making it seem obvious.

  • him: i’m gonna make you cum tonight
  • her: we both know you’re not gonna last ten minutes
  • her: all I have to do is hop on top & bounce my ass
  • him: says the one who was running from backshots
  • him: the one who was speaking in tongues
  • her: so we gon pretend like it didn’t last 6 minutes…


and lest we forget the classic emoji’s: 😉😋😜😏😻😈👅👀🙈🙊🌚💦🍆🔜

“Booty pics are art so you not a hoe, you a picasso”

Thanks to digital technology one has the opportunity to take visual stimulation to the next level: the snap, the image, the video, the FaceTime call. For starters, it doesn’t have to be a nude. Just look good! People are visual, so finding an excuse to send them a somewhat suggestive photo is always a good trick. This can be as simple as mirror pics, or you’re at the beach, or you’re taking a bath. Sweatpants have a career as preferred dickprint material, while for ladies simple lingerie can do the trick. Full exposure is not always necessary, then when you’re comfortable enough, you can advance yourself to nudes.

  • do watch the background— No one wants to zoom in to the left corner of your pic and see doo-doo remnants in the toilet. Pay attention to your surroundings. Wipe the tooth-paste from your mirror and tidy up a bit.
  • do consider you’re audience— Please moisturize your skin. No one wants to see ash. What’s attractive about getting a pic of you holding your dick and seeing grey between your thumb and index finger. Details always matter. If you’ve got a full bush growing (ladies & gentleman), today is not the day.
  • do pretend like this is for IG— I’m not saying to throw a filter on your pic, but camera quality and lighting is important. Presentation is key. Ladies, send your options to your best friend for pre-approval (and if you can’t send nudes to your best friend…are they really your best friend?)
  • do consider where they are and what they’re doing— Sending a surprise pic while they are at work sounds cute, but you don’t want to get too risky. There’s nothing more embarrassing than your mom handing you your phone and seeing…well, a dick. Spontaneity is good, but make sure your partner is somewhat prepared.

“One time this guy sent me a tweet in the middle of class and the message was something like, ‘This reminded me of you.’ So I’m cheesing, of course I open it and it’s this girl sucking this guys dick. My volume is on. Everyone’s staring at me. It was so bad.”

  • don’t provide tight shots— Is your dick the size of an iPhone 4 or iPhone 6 plus. Don’t zoom in where we can’t distinguish what we’re working with. Ladies, a picture of your clit is not what he’s trying to see. We want full depictions here.
  • don’t show your face—Sending nudes is a risk all in itself. No matter who it is, there is a possibility that it can be seen by others. So I’d strongly advise to eliminate that one part of the body.
  • don’t feel pressured— Words can do the trick. If they’re begging for them… paint the picture with your words or find an excuse so you don’t have to participate. You very well could be eating a bowl of cereal in ya granny panties.

“I’m always thinking: what if we break up and he a wack nigga and expose a bitch!!”

  • don’t be that person— Don’t share them. Don’t show your boys. Don’t show your girls. You can express to them what all was seen, but spreading the image around is just not okay. Nudes is something that you and that person should enjoy between one another, so exposing them for revenge is probably one of the lowest things you can do. That being said, keep that experience for those you trust most (actual relationships).

“I’ve heard from friends that taking nudes, then sending them to their sweetheart actually built their confidence because of the reaction they got back.”

  • do show some appreciation— If he or she decides to send you something this personal, you have to present gratitude. They probably took atleast fifteen pictures just to get it right, so make it a moment and show them that the risk was well worth taking.

Long as you follow these guidelines, the initial reaction won’t be negative. Now whether or not they’ll actually enjoy what was sent is truly debatable:

“If I can kind of sense it’s coming by the conversation it’s a “oooohhh zaddy” lmao. But if it’s a surprise I usually laugh and go back and inspect the details of the picture.”

“I don’t like getting dick pics like nigga wtf am I finna do with this. The pic doesn’t really do much for me and I feel bad ‘cause I’m usually just like oh okay and keep it moving. I like everything to go down in person so over the phone doesn’t do much for me.”

“Nudes to me are useless. Obviously if they’re sent, I appreciate the gesture, but I’m not gonna actively ask for it. It’s not tangible. Who wants to be teased with no end result?”

“Yes I’m going to ask for nudes if I’m trying to see! It’s not going to eliminate the anticipation for me to see your body in person. If it’s my girl, it’s not like I’m going to show anyone, because I don’t want other guys seeing your body. If you’re someone I don’t really care about there’s a chance, but most likely not. That’s low-key petty.”

Understand the Possibilities

Either you’re gonna have to finish what y’all started by yourself or you guys can link. “Pretty sure my vagina just pulsated, which is her telling me she’s ready, which is awk cause you’re not here. I can be at your house in twenty.” “I’m trying to see this tonight.” “Are you busy right now?” “Call le uber.” Don’t “you need to stop, because I will fuck you” and him show up at your door ready to go, but your roommate doesn’t plan on leaving. Don’t be fake.

Lastly, for those ladies who are really about this sex life. This is for you 😏

  1. Answer the door butt ass naked.
  2. Tell him you made it (and you’re not wearing two crucial pieces of clothing)
  3. Text him, “WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I SHOWED UP AT YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW…” and actually be at his house.
  4. Go on a date with your peacoat on and nothing underneath.
  5. Soon as he walks in the door, drop to your knees.
  6. When you know he’s almost there, text him: just come inside. Now hop in the shower. That way he can either go in the shower, wait for you to appear dripping wet in that towel, or rub ya down with lotion soon as you get out.

“I’m spending the night at his place and for some reason in the middle of the night, I get super horny. My initial thought is to  just wake him up, but I didn’t really wanna do that cause I knew he had something to do in the morning. So I’m thinking okay I’ll just masturbate real quick, cause this shits not going away and I’m tryna sleep. So I’m doing my thing, trying to be relatively quiet and I hear him ask what i’m doing. I tell him go back to sleep, that I’m masturbating, and he’s like oh bet, can I watch. Now I’m low-key hurt, cause the answer I wanted included him rolling over and giving me that willy, but I’m like okay it’s whatevs. I start being real extra…I’m touching my boobs, closing my eyes, making the face and moaning hella loud. Honestly, trying to get this over with, because he’s just smiling and watching me which was definitely weird. Praises to the most high, after not even 120 seconds he told me I had done enough and well… you know how the story ends.”

The power of sex lives in the mind and setting yourself up for success is only going to make it a million times better. Be comfortable from the get-go and get to going!


One thought on “Sexual Tension, Sexting & Nudes

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